


Impulse Control

by patchfire, raving_liberal



Category: Glee
Genre: Alive Finn Hudson, Breaking Up & Making Up, Emotional Manipulation, Episode: s04e16 Feud, Friends to Lovers, Impulse Control, M/M, Misunderstandings, No Finchel Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:21:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3660447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchfire/pseuds/patchfire, https://archiveofourown.org/users/raving_liberal/pseuds/raving_liberal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"That’s crazy-person talk, Puck. I was crazy-person talking, like a crazy person!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impulse Control

Puck clicks the volume down one time as the song playing on his phone changes, and he frowns at the screen, trying to remember what song is next. He leans against the back of the small sofa and untangles his earbuds before closing his eyes. The music has stopped when Puck wakes up to the sound of the door opening and what sounds like Finn’s footsteps. 

When Puck opens his eyes and looks at Finn, he first thinks that Finn must be drunk, given the way his face is red and blotchy and his eyes are swollen and red and his hair is completely awry, but Finn doesn’t go out and get drunk. “Finn?” Puck says, pulling his earbuds out. “What’s going on?” 

“I think I’ve lost my mind,” Finn says, and he sounds about as rough as he looks. “I think maybe I’ve gone crazy.”

“Is everybody okay?” Puck asks. “Is somebody hurt? Are _you_ okay?” 

Finn shakes his head. “I don’t think I’m okay. I think maybe I’m really messed up.”

“Okay.” Puck sets his phone down and stands up, steering Finn towards the sofa. “Did you take something?” 

Finn shakes his head again, not quite so violently this time. “No. No, I didn’t take anything. I just… Puck, I flew to New York and back just to beat somebody up.”

“Sit down.” Puck gets a pop out of the mini-fridge and opens it before handing it to Finn. “Drink this,” he says, just in case Finn really did take something. “You flew to New York to beat somebody up? Who?” 

Finn takes the pop and obediently drinks some of it before answering, “Brody. That guy Rachel’s dating.”

“Dude,” Puck says, sighing heavily. “Why did you beat up Brody?” 

“Santana called me. She said Brody was a—a whatever the word is. A dude-hooker. And she said Rachel didn’t know,” Finn says. “And I just got so mad, you know? I used the emergencies-only credit card Mom and Burt gave me, and I bought a ticket to New York, and I flew to New York, and then I beat up Brody.” His eyes start tearing up. “I beat him up pretty bad.”

“Okay. Okay. Were you mad for Rachel? For you, since you and Rachel hooked up back at the not-wedding?” Puck asks. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know!” Finn’s face twists up a little, and tears start rolling down his cheeks. “I don’t even know what part I got mad about. Just, I was talking to Santana, and then I was at the airport, and then I was beating the shit out of Brody, and everything was kind of red.”

“Fucking Santana,” Puck says under his breath, because who knows what she told Finn. Santana’s really good at pushing people’s buttons if she knows them at all, and Puck figures it clearly worked with Finn. “Okay. It’s okay. Are you still mad?” 

“I don’t know,” Finn says. His breath hitches, and then his body starts to shake as he lets out a loud sob. He drops his head forward, bringing his hands up to his face. Puck puts one arm around Finn’s shoulders, patting Finn’s arm softly. Finn sags against Puck, tucking his face against Puck’s shoulder. 

“It’ll be okay,” Puck says, even though he’s not sure it all will be. “Give me that credit card though, okay?” 

Finn nods against Puck’s shoulder, crying even harder, with loud, gasping sobs. Puck tightens the arm around Finn, leaning his cheek against Finn’s head and shushing him. Finn doesn’t actually quieten, but Puck at least feels like he’s doing _something_. Eventually, if Finn falls asleep or maybe in the morning, Puck’ll find a way to call Brody and make sure he’s not pressing charges or anything. Puck isn’t sure if Brody knows who Finn is, even, which could make things a little easier. 

“You don’t have to be mad now,” Puck says after a while. “It’s fine. It’s okay. You’re good. You’re okay.” Finn keeps crying until Puck realizes that Finn’s fallen asleep while crying, his head pillowed in Puck’s lap, and Puck shifts the two of them until Finn is mostly horizontal. Puck waits another thirty minutes before texting Santana with a demand for Brody’s number. Like Puck had suspected she would, Santana sends the number within ten minutes, probably trying to cause more trouble. 

Puck doesn’t introduce himself when he calls Brody’s number. He launches right into his explanation of why it’s going to be better for everyone if Brody forgets that anything ever happened to him, and as soon as Brody says an admittedly somewhat grudging ‘okay’, Puck ends the call and puts his phone on vibrate. 

“Okay,” Puck says to Finn’s sleeping, mouth-breathing face. “No one’s going to get in trouble. I know your nose is all stuffed up now. Just sleep, and we’ll figure more stuff out in the morning, Finnster.” 

Puck isn’t sure how late it is when he finally falls asleep, but the room is full of early morning sunlight when he wakes up to Finn’s head moving against his leg. Finn’s face is rubbing against Puck’s jeans, like he’s trying to burrow away from the light or possibly just from the fact of being awake. 

“Finn?” Puck says quietly. 

“Hey,” Finn says. “Sorry.”

“For what?” Puck asks, not sure why Finn is apologizing. 

“Being a mess,” Finn says. 

“You’re not.” Puck shrugs. “How do you feel?” 

“Stupid, mostly.”

“You’re not stupid. I told you everything’d be okay, right?” Puck asks. 

“How’s it gonna be okay?” Finn asks, sitting up. “I don’t even know why I did it.”

“It’s gonna be okay because you’re not going to do it again, and he’s not going to make trouble about it, and it was probably Santana’s fault,” Puck says, letting his arm drop to the back of the sofa behind Finn. 

“I just got so mad,” Finn says softly.

“Santana’s good at making people get angry,” Puck says. “Do you remember what she said?” 

“I think she said a lot of stuff. She kept talking about all the stuff Brody was probably lying about, and how if it weren’t for that, how Rachel would, you know.” Finn shrugs. “She’d want to be with me again, instead of with somebody who was lying to her and having sex with lots of women for money.”

“Hey, people can have sex for money and not be the worst people,” Puck says gently. “Did you think if you went and beat Brody up, Rachel’d get back together with you? Or, well, was that what you were hoping for?” 

Finn looks away, so Puck can’t see his face. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Dude. Level with me.” 

“Yeah,” Finn says, heaving a loud sigh. “Yeah, that’s what I was hoping. By the time I was back on the plane, though…”

“You didn’t want that anymore?” 

“I don’t want to be that guy,” Finn says. “I don’t want to be the guy who beats somebody up to get a girl back.”

“You aren’t that guy. I mean, you’ve never been that guy. You just had a… moment of temporary insanity or something, maybe,” Puck says. 

“I had blood on my knuckles and I couldn’t even remember how it got there at first.”

Puck frowns, because maybe his ‘temporary insanity induced by Santana’ theory isn’t that far off. “If I told you the same information right now, what would you do? Like a do-over.” 

“I don’t know. Maybe I’d call Rachel and talk to her. Maybe I’d call Kurt instead and have _him_ talk to her,” Finn says. 

“Okay. So what’d be important is her knowing, not you-and-her?”

Finn nods slowly. “It’s not cool for him to sneak around like that. It isn’t safe.”

“Yeah, being dishonest isn’t good,” Puck says. “See, you wouldn’t do it again.” 

“Yeah, I guess I wouldn’t,” Finn says. 

“Told you. Temporary insanity. Other part of it now.” Puck sighs a little. “How do you feel about Rachel, apart from all of this?” 

Finn sighs again. “Confused.”

“You want to tell me, or you want to brood mysteriously?” 

“I’m not brooding,” Finn says. “I’m just confused.”

Puck shifts on the sofa so he’s facing Finn, sitting crosslegged. “So start talking, then.” 

“I thought I was okay, you know? Like, when we broke up for sure, when I was up in New York, it sucked, but I thought I was okay with it. I thought maybe we’d get back together. Then she was down for the wedding, and we slept together, and I thought we’d for sure get back together, only then she left, and then Santana called me, and then I don’t know what I thought. I was just really mad at everybody,” Finn says. “I called her my future wife.”

“What?” Puck says, and he knows he’s making a face. “Dude.” 

“I know! I hit Brody, and I told him to stay away from my future wife! That’s crazy-person talk, Puck. I was crazy-person talking, like a crazy person!”

“Yeah, we’re going to table that temporary insanity again. If you forget the last forty-eight hours or so, how do you feel about Rachel _now_? Not last month or last year,” Puck says, because he doesn’t really have any answers for Finn about why he’d be talking like that. 

Finn shrugs. “I don’t know. Like I said. Confused.”

“Okay. If your phone rings right now and it’s Rachel, what would you want her to say?” 

“I guess I’d just want her to tell me why,” Finn says. “Why did she sleep with me at the wedding? Why’d she go? Why didn’t she even wake me up?”

Puck winces. He doesn’t have any answers about that, either. He doesn’t say anything right away, then nods a little. “Do you trust her?” 

Finn starts to answer, but cuts himself off before any sound comes out. He shakes his head. “I don’t think I do,” he says.

“Okay. Then I’m going to say something that might make you mad, so if you punch me, aim for my jaw not my nose?”

“Okay.”

“You shouldn’t be thinking about getting back together with her. Ever, I mean. If you don’t trust her.” Puck says it in a rush and then steels himself. 

Finn tenses up, but then his shoulders kind of droop, and he sighs again, quiet this time. “Oh.”

“You’d be really fucking unhappy. Maybe not in the first few days or weeks, but you would be after that,” Puck says. 

“Oh,” Finn repeats. 

Puck feels like maybe he’s just made things worse, or at least not made them better, but he also figures it needed to be said. He puts his hand on Finn’s leg and squeezes it a little. “Sorry.” 

“Not your fault,” Finn says. “At least you’ll tell me the truth.”

“Truth’s not always fun to hear,” Puck says with a shrug. “Anything else you’re feeling?” 

“Sad. I just feel sad,” Finn says. 

“Sorry about that, too,” Puck says. “Anything you want from me? I mean it. Anything.” 

“Really anything?”

“Really anything. Except like, maiming myself,” Puck says. 

“Even if it’s kinda weird? You won’t think I’m lame?” Finn asks. 

“Even if it’s kind weird,” Puck repeats as he nods. 

“Can I just lie down again? Like I was before.”

“On top of me, you mean?” Puck asks, then nods. “Yeah, okay.” 

Finn lies down again, with his head in Puck’s lap and his cheek against Puck’s leg. “Would you maybe… could you put your arm around me, maybe?”

“Yeah,” Puck says, sliding his arm around Finn’s shoulders. “Can I ask you another question?” Finn nods. “Did you miss her, or did you miss having someone?” 

Finn sighs, turning his face against Puck’s leg. “Sometimes I miss her. Sometimes I’m just lonely.”

“Yeah. Okay.” Puck pats Finn’s arm a few times. “Why do you think I have so much sex? Or used to, off and on, anyway.” 

“Because you liked it?”

“Makes things a little less lonely. It’s nice to have people touch you, you know?” Puck says, his voice getting a little softer as he talks. 

“Yeah,” Finn says. “I do know.”

“Nothing that wrong with letting people pay you for it sometimes,” Puck adds wryly. 

“I don’t think anybody would pay me for it,” Finn says. 

“I’d pay you,” Puck says, mostly joking, since Finn probably doesn’t actually need cash that badly. 

“Yeah, sure you would,” Finn says. “That’s nice, though. It’s nice to say.”

“Are you that short on cash?” 

“No, I don’t need cash. It’s still nice of you to say that.”

“What, I’m just telling you the truth,” Puck says. “But I figured you weren’t actually looking for money.” 

“No, I’m not. Really, I don’t think I’d feel any better if somebody was paying me, you know?” Finn says. “But it’s still nice.”

“So sex without the money exchanging hands?” Puck asks, bringing his other hand up to Finn’s head and resting it there. 

“Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Well, let me know,” Puck says. 

“I don’t think I’m good with the sex just for sex thing. I kind of need them to actually like me and me like them,” Finn says. 

“I’m hurt,” Puck says, combing his fingers through Finn’s hair. 

“Why? What’d I say?”

“You don’t like me?” 

“Of course I like you,” Finn says.

“Well, you just said they had to like you and vice versa, is all,” Puck explains. 

“People I’d have sex with,” Finn says. “I meant, like, like-like me.”

“Yeah. I know what you meant,” Puck says, feeling a little sad suddenly. 

“But you don’t like-like me.”

“Hmm,” Puck says, gathering his thoughts for a moment. “I don’t not like-like you.” 

“You don’t _like_ -like me,” Finn insists. “Like for sex.”

“I like you a lot more than some people I’ve had sex with. Anyway, you said ‘them’.” 

“Well, I mean, I figured I’d probably have sex with more than one other person in my life, right?” Finn says. 

“It’s kinda gender-neutral, is what I’m saying.” 

“Oh,” Finn says.

Puck shrugs. “Anyway… yeah. I don’t not like-like you.” 

“Really?”

“Do I lie to you?” Puck asks. 

“Maybe you’re trying to make me feel better,” Finn says.

“If I were trying to make you feel better, I’d tell you we should go out to a party in a day or two or something. Do I lie to you?” 

“No,” Finn says. “You don’t. You’re, like, the only person I know for sure _isn’t_.”

“See? I don’t lie to you. Not even to make you feel better,” Puck says. 

“Okay. So you like me.”

“Is that a bad thing?” 

Finn shakes his head against Puck’s leg. “It’s not bad. It’s nice.”

“Okay. Good,” Puck says, leaving his hands on Finn’s arm and head. 

“I like you, too,” Finn says, after a little while. 

“ _Like_ -like?” Puck asks. Finn nods against Puck’s leg, just barely moving his head. Puck smiles and moves his hand through Finn’s hair a little. “That’s cool.” 

“Sometimes,” Finn starts, then turns his face against Puck’s leg again. “Sometimes you’re the only person who doesn’t make me feel stupid.”

“‘Cause I know you’re not stupid,” Puck says. “Neither one of us is.” 

“Even if I do a lot of stupid stuff,” Finn adds.

“I had to look up another word for something for my screenplay the other day, and one of the words on that list was misguided. Maybe you do some _misguided_ stuff,” Puck says. “Not stupid.” 

“See? You’re nice,” Finn says. “I’d probably have to look up another word for nice.”

“You could go with ‘the best’. I’m ‘the best’,” Puck says with a grin. 

“Yeah, okay. ‘The best’ works.”

“Didn’t even have to use a thesaurus,” Puck says. “Also, you’re not usually misguided.” 

“More than I should be, I think,” Finn says.

“Name one other thing. One other thing that wasn’t Santana-induced.”

“The time when Quinn was pregnant that I sang ‘Having My Baby’ to her in front of her parents, the time I kissed Ms. Pillsbury, the time I started a fight with you when we were both in wheelchairs,” Finn lists. “The whole Grilled Cheesus thing.”

“Didn’t Kurt or someone give you the idea about the song?” Puck asks. “And that fight was actually sort of weirdly fun. And I don’t think seeing religious figures in food counts, ‘cause some religions are _way_ into that and think it’s great. But I’ll give you Ms. Pillsbury. Are you sure we can’t blame it on Santana? It was pretty recent.” 

“No, that was all me. I thought I was helping,” Finn says. “I wasn’t helping.”

“At least you had good intentions. You pretty much always have good intentions. Even when they get a little messed up or misguided, you’ve always been trying to do the right thing,” Puck says. 

“I don’t think I was doing the right thing when I flew to New York and beat up Brody.”

“Yeah, okay, probably not, but again: Santana-induced. She’s like some kind of bad trip,” Puck says. “Seriously, do you need me to list all your good stuff? ‘Cause I will.” 

Finn shrugs and breathes out heavily against Puck’s leg. Puck can feel his skin get warmer, and he moves his fingers through Finn’s hair slowly. “That might be kinda nice,” Finn says.

“Well, considering how we met, us becoming best friends was probably a major leap of faith on your part,” Puck says, laughing a little. “You were always nicer than I was when we were pulling pranks.” Puck pauses for a moment. “You came back to glee club when you didn’t have to. Forgave me when you didn’t have to. Been nice to people who were shitty to you when you would have had every right to be just as shitty back to them.” 

“When you say it, it doesn’t sound so bad,” Finn says. 

“‘Cause it’s not bad. Sometimes I’ve wondered why you put up with _me_ ,” Puck says. “You trust people until they show you they can’t be trusted. That’s not a bad thing.” 

“You don’t do stuff to be mean. You just do stuff sometimes. I have to forgive you,” Finn says. “That’s just what we do.”

“Are you saying I have poor impulse control?” Puck says jokingly. 

“Well, sometimes, yeah.”

Puck laughs. “You’re not the first person to say that. I’ve gotten a little better, though. I didn’t do anything to Santana for pulling her shit. Yet. And you want to know something really weird?” 

Finn rolls a little so he can look up at Puck. “Yeah?”

“There have been times lately I’ve deliberately decided not to hook up with someone. Not, like, couldn’t find anyone. Decided not to. That’s probably impulse control.” 

“Yeah, it probably is. That’s good, though, right?”

“Yeah, I think so. Just weird. And some lack of impulse control could be good. I mean, controlling it all the time would be weird, too, right?” 

“Yeah,” Finn says. “It’s probably not cool to be _too_ controlled.”

“Exactly.” Puck pauses. “Hey, look at me.” 

Finn looks up at Puck. “Hey.”

Finn’s eyes are still puffy, and his eyes and the rest of his face are red and splotchy, and Puck still isn’t completely convinced that Santana didn’t somehow drug Finn over the phone. Finn looks halfway between hungover and tired after a bad trip, but his eyes are clear. “I haven’t totally eliminated my lack of impulse control, you know.” 

“You’re not gonna punch me now, are you?” Finn asks, smiling a little. 

“Not punch, no,” Puck says, returning Finn’s smile before hunching over awkwardly and kissing Finn’s forehead, then his nose, and then, very gently, his lips. Finn makes a quiet noise of surprise. Puck pulls back enough to smile again before repeating the kiss, just as gently. Finn makes the surprised noise again, but this time, he increases the pressure of the kiss slightly. 

Puck straightens when his back protests too much, one hand half on Finn’s face, and he watches Finn’s face, looking straight into his definitely-clear eyes. Finn looks confused, but he’s smiling. 

“What was that for?” Finn asks. 

“I told you I have poor impulse control,” Puck says, shrugging one shoulder. “And I’m good at touching. And…” He trails off and shrugs with both shoulders. 

“And what?”

“I wanted to.”

“Oh,” Finn says. “Because I’m pitiful?”

Puck gives Finn a look. “Seriously? Do I do anything because I think someone’s pitiful?” 

Finn shrugs. “I don’t know. You’re being really nice to me right now.”

“Did you want me to be mean? Call you ‘Finnessa’ instead of ‘Finnster’, maybe?” 

Finn shakes his head. “No, I like you being nice. I feel a lot better now, ‘cause of you.”

“Good.” Puck grins. “That’s ‘cause I’m the best, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“I could get used to that,” Puck says. 

“Maybe we can just say a lot of nice things about each other all the time,” Finn says. 

“Really?” Puck asks, raising his eyebrows. “Just talking?” 

“What else would we do?” Finn asks. 

“I could kiss you again.” 

“Okay,” Finn says. 

“Don’t be too enthusiastic about it,” Puck says, but he leans over again as he says it, kissing Finn a little bit harder this time and moving his hand so it’s cupping Finn’s cheek. Finn reaches up and puts a hand on the back of Puck’s neck while they kiss. Puck keeps his lips against Finn’s, slowly increasing the pressure. They kiss until Puck’s neck is aching, and he pulls away to straighten his back and neck. “Maybe you should sit up or I should lie down.”

“Yeah, you’re probably not comfortable,” Finn says. “But this is all okay with you?”

“It’s good with me as long as it’s good with you. You got a sitting or lying preference?” 

“Um. I think lying’s good, probably.”

“Bed okay? Sofa’s a little short,” Puck says, feeling obligated to point that out. 

“Oh, yeah, it kind of is,” Finn agrees. 

Puck picks up his hands so Finn can move, because Puck can’t really get up without rolling Finn into the floor. Finn sits up, then stands up, waiting for Puck to stand before walking over to Finn’s bed. Puck lies down first, against the wall, since he’s not sure if the bunk’s enclosed enough to make Finn feel claustrophobic or not. 

Finn lies down on his side next to Puck, his head propped up on his hand. “Is this better?”

“Yeah. Not so painful,” Puck says, moving a little bit closer to Finn and putting his hand on Finn’s side. “You good?” 

“Yeah. Trying to not overthink it or anything, but I’m good,” Finn says. 

“Thinking’s probably overrated in this particular case.” Puck leans towards Finn, kissing him softly for at least a minute before he opens his mouth slightly, running his tongue over Finn’s lower lip. Finn startles a little, but doesn’t pull away, and after a couple of seconds, his lips part. Puck slides his tongue into Finn’s mouth, kissing him harder, and he moves his hand up Finn’s side and onto Finn’s face again. Finn presses his face against Puck’s hand. Puck runs his thumb over Finn’s cheek and deepens the kiss. 

They make out for at least a half-hour before Finn pulls away, breathless and pink-cheeked. He smiles at Puck and touches his face for a bit without saying anything. Puck tilts his head towards Finn’s fingers, returning his smile. 

“This is nice,” Finn says. 

“But?”

“But now I’m thinking,” Finn says, “so now probably we have to talk some.”

“I could try to keep you from thinking?” Puck offers. He runs his hand up and down Finn’s arm. “But that’s probably just putting it off. Whatcha thinking?” 

“About the last twenty-four hours and how it’s all kind of weird and crazy,” Finn says. 

Puck nods as a thought occurs to him. “This is going to sound really out there, but hear me out, okay?” He waits for Finn to nod, then continues. “Maybe you needed something kinda crazy both as like… closure, and something to tell you it was over, both?” 

“Yeah,” Finn says softly, then louder, “Yeah. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.”

“I think I’d be more worried if you didn’t think it was crazy. But you do. And like… that was kinda the last part of high school you were still holding on to?” 

Finn nods. “Yeah. And it does feel like maybe I’m not hanging onto it any more, so maybe me going up there was a little bit good, in a way, right?”

“Right,” Puck says. “You just had to let it go.” 

“Is it maybe too soon to start something new?” Finn asks. “Should I wait?”

Puck shrugs. “I don’t know. You could probably say Rachel was already your rebound from Rachel.” 

“Yeah,” Finn says, laughing a little. 

“And I don’t think it’s actually a rule that people have to rebound.” Puck shrugs again. “Do _you_ think you should wait, or do you think you should think you should?” 

“I think I should think I should.”

“You could always wait to tell people so people aren’t assholes,” Puck says. 

“Okay,” Finn says. “If you think that’s a good idea.”

“Well, by ‘people’, I mean people that know Rachel. Not people that you know here or something. I don’t know. It seems like the _easier_ idea, anyway.” Puck isn’t exactly sure what kind of phone call either of them would get from Santana or Kurt, but he’s pretty sure that there would be at least one call, and probably at least one call each. 

“Yeah. Okay. You’re probably right,” Finn says. 

Puck grins. “So you want to start something?” 

“Maybe,” Finn says, grinning back. “Do you?”

“Not only do I want to, I feel like I should point out we’ve got all day without anywhere we have to be,” Puck says. 

“Awesome,” Finn says. 

“Definitely awesome,” Puck says, nodding. “Shirts off?” 

“Okay,” Finn says. He flushes slightly pink as he sits up and starts pulling off his shirt. Puck doesn’t move, watching Finn until his shirt is completely off, and then Puck leans up enough to remove his own, his eyes still on Finn. 

“Good?” 

“Yeah,” Finn says. “Good for you, too?”

Puck nods again as he smiles. “Yeah, I’m good.” He puts his hand on Finn’s chest, running his fingers lightly down it and back up to Finn’s collarbone. Finn laughs and squirms away. “Too ticklish?” Puck asks, doing the same thing but more firmly.

“Yeah,” Finn says, squirming again. “A little.” 

“Do you want me to stop?” Puck asks, moving closer and putting both hands flat on Finn’s chest before moving them. Finn shakes his head. “Okay, good. You can do whatever you want.” 

Finn puts one hand high on Puck’s side, slowly sliding it down to his hip. Puck shifts his weight, pressing into Finn’s hand as he keeps moving his hands on Finn’s chest. Finn smiles and kisses Puck again. Puck parts his lips immediately, and he almost pushes his hands against Finn’s chest as he moves them along Finn’s collarbone and then slowly down, pausing just above Finn’s nipples. 

“You don't have anywhere you need to be today, right?” Puck asks.

“Even if I did, I don’t think I’d be going,” Finn says. 

Puck laughs. “Good. I was thinking we could stay right here? On the bed, I mean.” 

“Yeah. I think that sounds really good,” Finn says. 

“Is there anything that _doesn’t_ sound good?” Puck asks, kissing Finn between each word and dragging his palms down Finn’s chest, over his nipples. 

“Um. I don’t know. I’m not sure,” Finn says. “Can I tell you if it’s, like, too much or something?”

“Yeah. You _should_ tell me,” Puck says. “You’re good right now?” 

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Puck doesn’t say anything, grinning before kissing Finn’s neck. He runs one thumb over Finn’s collarbone and then over one nipple, wrapping his other arm around Finn’s waist and tugging him closer. Finn lets out a content-sounding little sigh. Puck repeats the same motion with his thumb as he moves his open mouth to the other side of Finn’s neck, pressing sloppy kisses against it. 

“Any _requests_?” Puck says, his voice muffled against Finn’s skin. 

“Do the thing with your thumb again?” Finn asks. 

“This?” Puck says, dragging his thumb slowly down the edge of Finn’s collarbone before rubbing it in a circle over Finn’s nipple. Finn gasps quietly.

“Yeah. Yeah, that.”

“Awesome.” Puck slides towards the foot of the bed and throws one leg over Finn’s, then runs his thumb up to Finn’s other nipple, kissing around the first one. Finn gasps again, grabbing the back of Puck head and burying his fingers in Puck’s hair. 

“Yeah. Keep doing that,” Finn says. “Shit.”

Puck laughs and licks across the nipple under his lips. “Never done this?” 

“Nope, but now I think probably you shouldn’t ever stop, okay?”

“What if I figure out something you like even better?” Puck asks, still moving his thumb and probably at least half on top of Finn, between his leg and his arm. It sucks for Finn that he hadn’t done it before, but it’s pretty gratifying for Puck, the way Finn’s responding. 

“Then we can do that, too,” Finn says. “Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Puck repeats, laughing again as he licks Finn’s nipple one more time before slowly sucking it into his mouth. Finn lets out a soft yelp as his hand tightens in Puck’s hair. Puck keeps his mouth there, using more pressure with his thumb on the other side of Finn’s chest. 

“Oh shit,” Finn says, sounding breathier now. “Oh shit oh shit, Puck.”

“Mmm?” Puck says, not moving his mouth away from Finn. His free hand makes a big, slow circle on Finn’s back. Finn holds Puck’s hair in a death grip, arching his back a little, too.

“That feels so fucking awesome,” Finn says. 

“Good,” Puck says as he pulls back and moves so his hand and mouth can swap places. He licks across Finn’s other nipple, his thumb circling the still-wet one. Finn yelps again, louder this time.

“You’re gonna kill me, I’m gonna die,” Finn says. 

Puck laughs. “What a way to go?” he says, then sucks at Finn’s nipple, pinching his other one. 

“Oh _shit_!” Finn yells, tugging on Puck’s hair. “No, I need a break, I need— kiss me some more, okay?”

Puck lifts his head up, his hand still on Finn. “You okay?” he asks, but he does stretch up and start kissing Finn again. Finn nods his head as he kisses Puck back. “Too rough?” Puck says, sliding his hand to the middle of Finn’s chest. 

“Too good,” Finn says. “A little too good.”

“How’s it _too_ good?” Puck asks. Since Finn says it wasn’t too rough, he puts his thumb back on Finn’s nipple again. 

“It’s just too good. It feels too good,” Finn says. 

Puck kisses Finn hard and pinches with his fingers again. “Yeah, that’s the point, isn’t it?” Puck asks. “Feeling good?” 

“ _Too_ good,” Finn repeats. 

“I don’t even know what _too_ good is,” Puck says. “I can start sucking on your nipples again right now.” 

“No, just kiss me more,” Finn insists. “I don’t want to— I like it, but I don’t want to, you know.” He shrugs slightly. “It feels weird to say.”

Puck makes a face while he thinks, then looks questioningly at Finn. “Why _not_?” 

“What if it makes things weird?” Finn says.

“That ship probably already sailed, or whatever the phrase is,” Puck points out. “And it’s not weird right now.” 

“Yeah, but if you make me come just from sucking on my nipples, it _could_ be weird,” Finn says. His face reddens. “Or maybe I just made it weird by saying it.”

“Nah, it’ll just be awesome,” Puck says, and he kisses Finn one more time before abruptly lowering his head to Finn’s nipples again, pulling one into his mouth. 

“It doesn’t make me kind of lame? Coming without you even touching my dick?” Finn asks, then, sounding flustered, “Not that you have to! I mean, I’m not trying to tell you to, or anything!”

Puck looks up and grins. “No, it’s cool, like I said. And dick later.” 

“But you don’t have to.”

“What if I want to?” Puck asks, running his tongue over Finn’s nipple again. 

Finn yelps and bucks his hips slightly. “You can, if you want to, but you don’t have to.”

Puck sucks at Finn’s nipple for a few more moments, then lifts his head, moving his fingers to pinch at that nipple. “Do you want me to?” 

“I think so,” Finn says. 

“Do you want me to keep doing this?” Puck says, and this time, he lightly scrapes his teeth across Finn’s nipple. “Or that?” 

“Shit, yes, both, do both!”

“Cool,” Puck says, doing it again before switching to the other nipple, then sucks Finn’s nipple into his mouth as he rubs his thumb hard across the first one. Finn makes a whiny noise, tugging on Puck’s hair again, but he doesn’t tell Puck to stop this time. Puck sucks harder, pressing down with his thumb and then slowly starting to pinch. Finn yelps and bucks his hips again, grinding against Puck’s leg. 

Puck grins as he pushes back against Finn with his leg, scraping his teeth across Finn’s nipple and the surrounding skin. It doesn’t take long before Finn cries out loudly, pressing his dick against Puck’s leg. Finn shakes a little, almost vibrating, and Puck can feel the moment that Finn starts to come. He keeps his mouth and hands on Finn until he’s almost limp, and Puck releases Finn’s nipple with a quiet pop. 

“Too good?” Puck asks. 

“Yeah,” Finn breathes. “So too good.”

“Awesome.” Puck pushes away from Finn’s chest and then kisses him again, going quickly from soft kissing to hard, messy ones. “Can I touch your dick now?” 

“No, now I’m kind of gross!”

“So wipe yourself off with your boxers,” Puck says with a shrug. 

“I’d have to take them off to do that,” Finn says.

“That was the plan, yeah. Is that a bad thing?” 

“Just, then I’d be naked.”

Puck nods. “Is _that_ a bad thing?” 

“I don’t know,” Finn says. “Maybe? Not bad-bad, just uh. Scary.”

“Want me to get naked first?” Puck asks. “Or would that be worse?” He laughs. “I’m not sure there’s really a worse, here.” 

Finn’s brow furrows and his face scrunches up. “I’m just worried.”

“About what?” Puck raises his eyebrows. “It’s not like it’s anything we haven’t technically seen.”

“Yeah, but…” Finn sighs. “If we get naked, it feels like there’s no going back, and then if something happens, I don’t have my best friend anymore.”

“Dude. Have you ever been able to get rid of me?” Puck asks. “Think about it.” 

“Yeah, but we haven’t ever done stuff like this before.”

“Yeah, okay, true,” Puck says, shrugging a little. “But still. I don’t know, I’m not worried.” 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Finn says. He runs a hand down Puck’s arm, then back up, rubbing a circle on Puck’s shoulder. 

“Probably accidentally shave your head at a party, and then you’d call me and I’d have to take you hat shopping,” Puck says, grinning a little. “Where would I go for longer than a party?” 

“You know what I mean!”

“Yeah, and where would I go?” Puck asks. “You don’t have to worry about that.” 

“But I _do_ worry!” Finn says. 

“I know, but I’m saying you don’t have to. It’d be really fucking hard to get rid of me, is what I’m saying.” Puck slides himself even more on top of Finn, kissing his neck. “Like you’d have to tie me up and throw me in the trunk of a car or something. And then leave the car in the middle of the woods in Wyoming or somewhere like that.” 

“Aww. That’s really sweet, actually,” Finn says. “If you got out of the trunk, would you still come find me?”

“Well, duh,” Puck says. “Assuming you left me some water in the trunk.” 

“Of course I’d leave you some water!”

“Then I think you’re not really trying to get rid of me,” Puck points out, kissing the other side of Finn’s neck. 

“I don’t want to get rid of you,” Finn says. “I don’t ever want to get rid of you.” 

“Then I think we’re good.” 

“Okay,” Finn says, reaching between them to undo his jeans. 

Puck grins and swats Finn’s hands away, pulling the zipper down. “Lift your hips up.” Finn lifts his hips and even squirms a little to help Puck pull Finn’s jeans and boxers down past Finn’s thighs. “Okay?” 

“Yeah. I’m okay,” Finn says. “I’m good, I think.” He tugs at the front of Puck’s jeans. 

“Cool.” Puck unfastens his jeans and tilts his hips towards Finn. “At least I made things easier for you, I don’t have any underwear on.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Finn says. 

“I’m thoughtful that way,” Puck says, leaning to kiss Finn. 

“I don’t think you were thinking about me when you didn’t put underwear on,” Finn points out. “I think that’s just a thing you don’t do.”

“You don’t know that I wasn’t!” 

“Unless you’ve been thinking about me for the last four years,” Finn says. 

“You don’t know that I wasn’t!” Puck repeats with a grin. 

“Were you?” Finn asks. 

“I could have been. Sometimes,” Puck says. “Do you want me to _start_ putting underwear on?” 

“Nah. That would be a waste of time, probably.”

Puck laughs. “Good, ‘cause I’d probably forget anyway. You want to finish getting these off of me?” 

“Yeah,” Finn says, laughing too as he pulls Puck’s jeans down the rest of the way.

Puck lowers himself slowly on top of Finn, shifting his weight until he feels more or less comfortable. “Good?” 

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Any requests?”

“Is there stuff you really like?” Finn asks. 

“Hmm.” Puck moves his leg between Finn’s, pressing against Finn’s dick for a few seconds before shifting again, this time putting his hand between them and running his fingers up the length of Finn’s dick. “I like pretty much everything except really kinky shit. I just like _touching_ and kissing and skin.” 

“Well, I probably wouldn’t be able to come up with any kinky stuff, anyway,” Finn says. He closes his eyes and leans into Puck’s touch. “That’s really nice.”

“Yeah, you feel good,” Puck says. He wraps his hand around Finn’s dick, stroking it slowly, then leans down to kiss Finn lightly. Finn makes a soft sound and presses his lips against Puck’s harder, also sliding his hand between them to just barely touch Puck’s dick. Puck parts his lips and tightens his hand, dropping a little more of his weight onto Finn’s upper chest. 

Finn’s tongue pushes into Puck’s mouth as Finn’s fingers wrap firmly around Puck’s dick, already moving slightly. Puck strokes faster, their kisses getting sloppier. Finn moans into Puck’s mouth, which makes Puck tighten his hand a second time. 

“Anything else you want?” Puck asks between messy, open-mouthed kisses. 

“To keep doing this,” Finn says. “Do you want something else?”

“Just to keep touching you. Didn’t know if you wanted to change positions or anything.” 

Finn kisses Puck again, hard, before answering, “No, this is good, I’m good.”

“Yeah, you are,” Puck says, moving his hand even faster. “Anywhere else you want me to touch?” 

“Uh-uh,” Finn says, shaking his head while still keeping his lips against Puck’s. “You?” He also moves his hand faster, holding Puck against him with his free arm. 

“I could put my other hand on your nipples again,” Puck says, kissing Finn hard as he finishes the sentence. “I could reach under you and grab your ass.” 

“Okay, cool,” Finn says. 

“Which one?” Puck asks, kissing Finn’s neck and down his collarbone. 

“Yeah, all of them, they’re all cool,” Finn says. He keeps stroking Puck’s dick with one hand while the other moves up and down Puck’s back, finally coming to rest on the back of Puck’s neck. “Whichever one.”

“Only got two hands, is all,” Puck says, pushing the hand not on Finn’s dick under Finn’s ass and squeezing it gently. He hunches his back just enough for his mouth to reach Finn’s nipple, and he licks it, then scrapes his teeth across it. Finn yelps like he had earlier, pulling Puck against him by the back of his neck. Puck lifts his head up and grins before doing it again. 

“Shit, Puck,” Finn says. “Shit. Shit, that’s so good.”

“Yeah, gonna make you come again.” Puck squeezes Finn’s ass again, his hand still moving on Finn’s dick, and then he pulls Finn’s nipple into his mouth, barely catching it between his teeth. 

“Oh, shit, yeah, and you, and you, too,” Finn says, through panted breath. 

Puck rocks his hips down, into Finn’s hand, and nods a little before releasing Finn’s nipple and moving his mouth to the other one. “Yeah, we’ll both come,” he says, nipping at it before pulling it into his mouth like he had the first one. 

“Yeah,” Finn says, “yeah, I want you to, I want to make you.” He jerks Puck off faster, gasping and yelping and thrusting up into Puck’s hand. Puck scrapes his teeth across Finn’s nipple a final time before kissing him hard again, pulling the two of them even closer with the hand on Finn’s ass. 

Puck speeds up the movement of his hand, rocking into Finn’s hand and feeling their hands inadvertently collide a few times. He pushes his tongue deep into Finn’s mouth and starts to come, hands and hips still moving. Finn comes almost immediately after, moaning and still kissing Puck roughly. 

Puck moves his hand just enough to let himself more or less collapse on top of Finn, and he wipes his hand on the bed before settling himself more comfortably, his head tucked against Finn’s neck. 

“Good, yeah?” 

“So good. That was _so_ good,” Finn says. “Was it good for you, too?”

“Yeah, it was definitely good. Wanna rest for a little bit?” 

“Can we do it again after we rest?”

Puck grins. “Definitely. Absolutely.” 

 

They really do spend the entirety of that day in, on, or around the bed, except for getting food, and part of the day after, until Finn has to go to class and Puck works on his screenplay. The day after that, Puck decides to go to the campus coffeeshop to work on his screenplay, since Finn has a pretty full day of classes and studying that he needs to get done, which is why it’s close to six before Puck heads back to the dorm. 

The lights are out, though, which is weird, and Finn isn’t there. Finn’s backpack is there, but Puck feels like there’s something off or wrong or missing, and he looks around for a note, but doesn’t see anything. He doesn’t want to be the guy that freaks out over nothing, but he feels unsettled, and he decides to climb up on his bunk and wait for a bit before calling. 

Thirty minutes later, Puck’s phone rings with Finn’s ringtone, and he makes himself count to six before answering. “Finn? Where are you?” 

“Hey. Hi. I’m in New York,” Finn says. “Kurt called, he was freaking out, said it was an emergency. I just got here.”

“What?” Puck can feel himself blinking. “What’s wrong with Kurt?” 

“I don’t know, he just said I had to come out here right away,” Finn says. 

“Is he in the hospital or something? Burt’s not in New York, is he?” 

“No. I don’t know. I don’t think so. I’m gonna take a train to Kurt’s place, and I’ll call you when I figure out what’s going on, okay?”

“Okay. Yeah. Let me know,” Puck says. 

“I will.” There’s a long pause before Finn adds, “I miss you.”

“Yeah. You, too.” Puck ends the call and decides to find some leftover food for dinner before wasting time online, because he doesn’t know what else to do while he waits. He eventually turns on the television, volume down pretty low, while he waits. 

About two hours pass before Puck’s phone rings again, and he hits mute on the television remote while he answers. “Hey.” 

“So,” Finn says. He sounds angry, or maybe frustrated, and tired. 

“Is Kurt okay?” Puck asks. 

“He’s fine. Everybody’s fine,” Finn says. “It’s stupid. I shouldn’t even be here.”

“So what was the emergency?” Puck frowns. “I knew I should have taken that credit card.” 

“The emergency is that Brody dumped Rachel and moved out, and she flipped out, and then Kurt flipped out, and between the two of them, they decided it was my job to come out here and, I don’t know. Fix it?”

“Oh.” Puck feels a little bit like someone kicked him, or maybe punched him in the stomach. “And by ‘fix it’ you mean…” Puck trails off. “Get back together with her?” 

“Yeah, I guess that’s what they expected,” Finn says. “She’s been crying since I got here. I haven’t really had a chance to do any talking. Kurt’s just as worked up as Rachel, and Santana keeps sitting there staring at me with this, like, _look_ on her face.”

Puck isn’t really sure what to say, because he isn’t even totally sure what he’s thinking, except that whatever is happening, it’s probably at least partially Santana’s fault, and that probably Kurt at least, and maybe Santana and Rachel, too, expect Finn to ‘fix’ things by taking Rachel into his arms and giving her a dramatic movie-kiss. It might even be what Finn would have wanted a week ago, but Puck _thinks_ it isn’t now, and it’s not what _Puck_ wants, for sure. He sighs heavily, still frowning and staring at the stains on the floor of the dorm. 

“I’m going to try to fly back tonight, okay?” Finn says. 

“Yeah. Okay. You left your truck at the airport?” Puck asks. 

“Yeah. I’ll call you back once I know when my flight’s leaving, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll wait up.” Puck turns the volume back up on the television after the call ends, knowing it could be a bit before Finn has details. Still, he doesn’t expect the nearly two more hours before the phone rings again. “Finn?” 

“I can’t find a flight.” Finn sounds even more irritated and exhausted. “I’ve talked to all the airlines at both airports. There’s nothing going back to Columbus or Toledo, not until the morning.”

“Oh.” Puck sighs for what feels like the tenth or so time that day. That means Rachel and Finn in the same space for at least ten or so more hours, along with two people who, for whatever reason, seem to want Finn back with Rachel. “Okay.” 

“I’ll be back around 10, okay?” Finn says. “Puck? Hello?”

“Yeah, okay,” Puck says flatly, because he’s starting to feel like he was the temporary insanity, a brief moment of non-Rachel-centric life for Finn, and he hangs up before Finn can confirm that. 

He turns his phone on silent and turns off the lights, flinging himself off the ladder and onto his bunk. He’ll clear out by 9:30 and wait a few hours to come back, so Finn can rehearse whatever it is he’ll tell Puck, and Puck can pretend like he didn’t really think they were doing anything but letting Finn rebound. Maybe Finn knew it was about Rachel when he left, and he just didn’t want to tell Puck the first time he called. Maybe Finn was irritated that he was having to interrupt whatever he was doing to call Puck at all. 

After ten or fifteen minutes of trying to sleep, Puck decides that maybe Finn didn’t look at all the available flights after all, and he starts calling up airline websites and pouring over the listed flights. There’s not anything to Toledo, no, and maybe Finn couldn’t have made it to JFK in time to catch the flight that’s landing in Columbus as Puck finds it, but there’s a flight to Cincinnati that Puck thinks Finn could have made, and then he could have taken the Greyhound back up I-75 to Lima. 

Maybe it’s better, Puck thinks after he puts his phone down again. Maybe Finn would have freaked out about telling people he was in anything like a relationship with another dude, anyway, so it’s probably better Puck didn’t get too used to it. Puck falls asleep thinking about that, and he reminds himself about it when he packs up his shit for writing and clears out of the dorm room well before ten. He wasn’t lying when he told Finn it was hard to get rid of him, but that doesn’t mean he has to self-punish or anything. 

Puck leaves his phone on vibrate and ignores the texts and missed phone calls and voicemails as much as he can, but he sees enough of the texts to know when Finn is back. He waits another thirty minutes, then walks slowly back to the dorm, steeling himself as he opens the door. 

“Hey!” Finn says. “Where were you? I called and texted.”

“Working,” Puck says with a shrug. “Have fun?” 

“No, not really. Why didn’t you answer when I called?”

“Working,” Puck says again, dropping his bag and climbing up to his bunk. “Did you make Rachel feel better?” 

“Well, nobody was freaking out when I left, but that’s about as good as I could get it, you know?” Finn says. “Are you okay?”

“Sure, I’m _great_ ,” Puck says, rolling his eyes. “Hope you didn’t hurry back and leave anyone hanging.” 

“Puck,” Finn says, crossing to Puck’s bunk and reaching for his hand. 

Puck starts to pull his hand back, then stops, letting Finn take it, but he leaves his hand mostly limp. “What?” 

“Can you come down from there?”

“So you can tell me all about how great Rachel is face-to-face?” Puck says, rolling over to look at Finn. “Go ahead.” 

“What? No,” Finn says, looking strangely at Puck. 

“Twice in a week you drop everything for her and fly to another state. I’m not a genius, but I’m not that stupid,” Puck says. “Fuck off.” 

Finn drops Puck’s hand, his face turning red as he presses his lips together, staring at Puck. He backs away from the bed and grabs his backpack in one hand, finally turning away as he reaches the door. He looks back over his shoulder at Puck one more time before opening the dorm door and walking out, letting the door slam shut behind him. 

“Yeah, you didn’t try to deny it,” Puck says after the door’s been closed for a minute or so. “At least I won’t be some way to get off when you’re not in New York.” He rolls over and pulls his pillow over his head. “I’m not going to yell,” he mutters. “I’m not going to throw anything, I’m not going to hit anything, and I’m definitely not going to do anything like cry.” 

It’s a complete lie, and he knows it, but if he falls asleep before Finn comes back, maybe he won’t have to admit to the lie. He does drift off, and when he wakes up again, the room is pitch-black, and he can hear Finn’s sleep-breathing below him. He checks the time on his phone–almost 2 am—and sighs. 

“Didn’t take long for something to happen,” Puck whispers as he lies there. Puck can hear Finn’s bed creak, and his breathing changes, but then it’s quiet again in the room. “Sucks.” 

After a few minutes, with no sound from Finn’s bed to indicate he’s moved again, Finn’s voice whispers, “Puck? Are you awake?”

Puck thinks about not saying anything, just lying there and letting Finn think he’s fallen back asleep, but he feels too guilty to it. Even as pissed off and hurt as he is, he doesn’t lie to Finn, and he exhales loudly after half a minute passes. “Yeah.” 

“Nothing happened. You know that, right?”

“I don’t know anything except you told me it was an emergency and then I find out you’re spending the night, and it was the second time in a week you’ve dropped everything for her, so maybe I was fucking wrong, and maybe I was your temporary insanity,” Puck says. “Reverse it, and tell me what you’d know.” 

“Puck,” Finn says softly. “Hey. It’s not like that. I didn’t know why Kurt needed me out there. I went for him. He’s my brother and I thought he needed me.”

“Maybe. First Santana, then Kurt, but it still works out the same. They want you back with her. _She_ wants you back with her. They’ll just pull some other reason next time.” 

“Then next time I won’t go unless Kurt tells me what the emergency is,” Finn says. 

“Maybe I talked you into it,” Puck says softly. “I didn’t _mean_ to.” 

“You didn’t talk me into anything. Puck.”

“I can’t be waiting for shit to happen.” 

“ _Puck_ ,” Finn says. “Nothing’s going to happen.”

“I came back yesterday and you were just _gone_ , Finn.” 

“But not because of Rachel. Because of Kurt,” Finn says. 

“Just gone,” Puck repeats. “Either _you’ve_ got an impulse control problem or there’s a communication problem or something but I _can’t_ , okay? I can’t do this if that’s how shit’s going to go down.” If he pulls out now, before he gets too invested, maybe it doesn’t all have to go to shit like Finn was afraid of. 

“Oh,” Finn says quietly.

“And you can say it all you want and you can _mean_ it, but it doesn’t feel like it was because of Kurt on this end.” 

Finn doesn’t respond at first, and after a point, Puck starts to wonder if he’s even planning to say anything. Finally, though, Finn’s bed creaks again, and there’s a flumping sound, like maybe Finn’s thrown himself back down onto his pillow dramatically. 

“Okay,” Finn says. “If that’s how you feel, then… then okay.”

‘Okay’ doesn’t really tell Puck much, but he figures it’s probably too much to hope it means the thing he wants it to mean. Probably it means ‘fine, then it’s over before it ever really started’, and Puck rolls onto his side, facing the wall. He needs to say something, so Finn knows that Puck gets it, but every time he opens his mouth, no sound comes out, and he doesn’t know what words to say, anyway. After a minute or so passes, Puck realizes that his pillow is getting damp, and when he wipes his hand across his eyes, tears are there and on his cheek. 

“Puck?” Finn whispers again. Puck tries again to respond, but his brain reminds him that he’s fucked this up, too, and he just shakes his head rapidly. Finn sighs quietly, but doesn’t say anything else. Eventually, Puck can hear Finn crying quietly, and he can still hear it as he drifts back to sleep. 

Puck wakes up the next morning with his head pounding, and he groans loudly when he opens his eyes. “Ow.” There’s no other sound in the dorm room, and once Puck climbs down from his bunk, it’s clear why: Finn has already cleared out for the day. Judging by the books missing from Finn’s desk, for the entire day, and Puck sighs.

“No point in going anywhere else to work then, I guess,” he says to the empty room, taking ibuprofen and waiting for it to work before attempting any work of his own. Halfway through the day, he gets newly pissed off, and he decides that since chances are Finn’s telling the truth about Kurt, Kurt maybe needs to be told a few things. 

Puck thinks about it for another ten minutes or so, then decides that yeah, that’s definitely something he’s going to do, and at least by waiting a few minutes, he can say he had impulse control before pressing Kurt’s name in his phone and listening to it ring three times before Kurt answers, sounding self-important. 

“You’re a manipulative little asshole, you know that?” Puck says without preamble. 

“Who is this?” Kurt asks. 

“Who is—the fuck? Now you’re too good for us, too?” 

“Oh. Is this Puck?”

Puck rolls his eyes and glares at the stains on the floor again. “Yes. You’re a manipulative asshole, and you should be embarrassed.” 

“That’s uncalled for! What, exactly, are you accusing me of?” Kurt asks. “Who was I manipulating and why should I be embarrassed?”

“Yeah, making Finn freak out and think something was actually _wrong_ and that it was _you_ , maybe?” Puck says. “You don’t think that was manipulative?” 

“There _was_ something wrong! Rachel was having a complete breakdown, and I was afraid she was going to end up in the hospital if I didn’t do something about it!”

“Rachel was going through a _break-up_ , and you still lied to Finn. Didn’t you? You let him think something was wrong with you?” Puck asks. 

“I didn’t say that,” Kurt says. “I told him an emergency, and it was.”

“You knew he’d think it was you! You took advantage of him. And why the hell is it his responsibility anyway?” Puck says angrily. “You know what you did, even if you won’t admit it.” 

“I don’t believe I did anything wrong. Rachel is my friend, Finn is my brother, and I want both of them to be happy,” Kurt says. 

Puck snorts. “Let me guess. Only _you_ know how to make sure they’re both happy?” 

“What would you suggest as an alternative? Do you think _you_ have a better solution?”

“Yeah, it’s called let them make their own decisions instead of manipulating people into the solution _you_ want,” Puck says. “I know you don’t think they’re complete morons.” 

“They never should have broken up! Santana told me what Brody did. I never trusted him,” Kurt says. 

“It’s not your decision, Kurt. It was up to _them_ and it’s still up to them, and who the fuck cares what Brody did. Good for him. He shouldn’t have lied, okay, but that’s got nothing to do with Finn.” Puck shakes his head. “I stand by my first statement.” 

Kurt laughs. “What, are you jealous?”

“Leave Finn the fuck alone,” Puck says, then ends the call. He stews for another thirty minutes or so, then decides he does need to leave the dorm room after all. He gets on his bike and leaves campus, driving around Lima before ending up at Breadstix. He orders the cheapest pasta dish on the menu and eats about fifteen breadsticks while he loiters, until eventually the glares of the servers get to be too much. 

He drives back over to campus, and after steeling himself, heads into the dorm and down the hall towards their room. It’s still empty, and Puck can’t even tell if Finn’s been there or not. It probably doesn’t matter, he tells himself, but when he wakes up in the middle of the night and Finn’s not there, and when Finn’s still not there in the morning, Puck doesn’t know if he’s more mad or sad. 

Puck can admit to himself that he’s definitely moping, not really writing and mostly watching YouTube videos during the day. He gets some beer the next night and drinks a few before going to sleep, so at least he won’t wake up in the middle of the night to an empty dorm, just in the morning. The next day is more YouTube until late afternoon, when he realizes he’s about to face a third night of Finn who-knows-where, and he calls Kurt back. This time, it rings four times before Kurt answers. 

“What do you want _now_?” Kurt asks. 

“You’re just a horrible human being, you know that? You and Santana. You never should have let her live with you,” Puck says. “Clearly she’s a bad influence, and you’re not a good influence on her.” 

“What is your _problem_?” Kurt demands. “I haven’t even talked to Finn since he was in the city!”

“I don’t know, the fact that you tricked him into _being_ in the city? He missed class because of you!” 

Kurt snorts dismissively. “One day is hardly going to hurt him.”

“Closer to two, and he already started out missing two quarters,” Puck says. “Plus he goofed off a little the first few weeks. But he’s been actually going to class and shit, and then you tell him there’s a damn _emergency_ like some kind of…” Puck trails off. “Like I said, like Santana.” 

“Santana has been genuinely concerned about Rachel’s well-being, actually. She’s changed, Puck,” Kurt says. “She was appalled with what Brody did, and she seems to honestly want better for Rachel.”

Puck snorts. “I don’t know what lines Santana’s feeding you, but Santana doesn’t care about anything but herself. It suits her to manipulate Finn for now, for some reason. But they broke up months ago, and you’ve got to stop. Why are _you_ doing this? Is it some kind of weird ‘at least Rachel and Finn could make it, even if Blaine and I can’t’ shit?” 

“I don’t understand what your objection is to all of this! Are you afraid if Finn moves to New York, you won’t have a dorm to squat in anymore? I’m sure he’d still let you crash on his couch,” Kurt says. 

“There are actually a few people left in this world who give a fuck about what makes _Finn_ happy and not just Rachel. I wouldn’t expect you to be one of them, not anymore, but _try_ to think back to who you were a year ago, maybe?” Puck yells louder than he intends. “You two think you’re so much better than the rest of us. Maybe _you_ should be with Rachel.” 

“Oh, grow up, Puck!” Kurt shouts back. “Why did you even call?”

“Grow up? That’s funny, when you’re the one regressing! I called because _someone_ needs to let you know what you’re doing is wrong.” Puck shakes his head. “Leave Finn alone.” He ends the call and shoves his phone into his pocket, and he can’t stay in the dorm room any longer, so he drives around Lima on the bike until the middle of the night and the third time he gets pulled over—not for speeding, just so the officer can ask him what he’s doing out at that time of night. Finn still isn’t in the dorm that night, but maybe Puck’ll see him sooner or later. Or not. He can always call Santana and yell at her after he calls Kurt the next time. 

Puck hangs around the dorm room for a couple of hours the next day and then decides that, since it’s a nicer day than it has been, he’ll go mope outside the coffeeshop for a couple of hours. Eventually, it still gets cold, and Puck heads back slowly towards the dorm. He’s halfway down the hall when he realizes that the door to their room is ajar. He slows up even more, trying to listen for any movement or anything inside. 

He can tell Finn is there, sounding like he’s almost stomping around, and Puck stops a few feet from the door. 

“But you can’t just— _no_ , Kurt! I’m not gonna come back out there!” 

Puck quietly lowers his bag to the floor, leaning on the wall as he listens. 

“Of course I do. I’m always going to love her,” Finn says, less angrily. Puck almost punches the wall, pulling back only when he realizes the walls are cinder block, and he picks up his bag without even trying to be quiet, heading back down the hall and out of the dorm. He goes back to the bike and off campus, and he doesn’t go back all day. 

Instead, he calls Jake and makes up a bullshit excuse to crash there, and Jake mostly doesn’t ask any questions. Puck wakes up a lot earlier than he wants to, though, because Jake has to be at school, and since Puck is awake, he thinks Kurt should be, too. And Santana. He calls Kurt’s phone first, waiting through the four rings it takes for Kurt to answer. 

“I loathe you,” Puck says, then immediately hangs up. Before Kurt can warn Santana or anything, he presses Santana’s number and listens to it ring three times before she picks up. 

“It’s too early,” Santana says, sounding just as angry as she usually does. 

“I fucking loathe you, too, and you’re a manipulative piece of shit,” Puck says. “Out of everyone, you’re the one I regret fucking the most.” 

“Fuck you too, Puckerman!” 

“No thanks. You made your choice, Santana. You threw your lot in with Arrogant and Arroganter, so have fun with that, and stick with them.” 

“Arrogant and—what is your problem?” 

“That you don’t stick to the things that are yours, and stay out of the others. Bye.” Puck ends that call and considers going for the Triple Crown by calling Rachel, too. He probably should wait and think about it for a few minutes, but he doesn’t, calling her instead. This time it only rings twice. 

“Hello? Noah?” Rachel says, then she gasps. “Is something wrong? Did something happen to Finn?”

Puck snorts. “I’m calling to wish you a happy fucking life, even if I think it’s all a big fucking mistake,” he says. 

“What? Noah, I don’t understand. Is this about Kurt’s conversation with Finn?” 

“Oh, which one?” Puck says. “The one where he lied to Finn and manipulated him, or the one where Kurt got what he wanted?” 

“What are you talking about? What did Kurt want?” Rachel asks. 

“Like you don’t know. Manipulated Finn out there, after Santana manipulated him, got what he wanted. I guess I should congratulate him. Or tell Burt to watch out because his son’s way better at politics.” 

“Noah, I have no idea what you mean by any of this! I know that Kurt had Finn fly out here when I was so upset about Brody, but surely you’re not this upset about that!”

“And why shouldn’t I be? Kurt told Finn it was a fucking _emergency_ , just so he could move his little chess pieces where he wanted them,” Puck says. 

“Kurt was just concerned about me,” Rachel says. “He was trying to look after me. He knew that Finn would want to make sure I was okay as well.” 

“Then why didn’t he tell Finn what was actually going on? Why lie? C’mon, Rachel, you didn’t used to be this much of an asshole,” Puck says. “I kinda even liked you at one point.” 

“Noah!” Rachel exclaims. 

“I guess I’ll tell you what I told Santana. You made your choices. Have fun with your two friends that no one else can stand. And I guess… have a nice life with him, too,” Puck says. “Don’t bother sending me anything like an invitation.” 

“What— who are you talking about?” Rachel asks. 

“Don’t play dumb, I heard what he said to Kurt.” 

“Who? Are you talking about Finn?”

Puck rolls his eyes. “Like you don’t know. Have a good life, Rachel, even if you both end up really fucking unhappy. Bye.” 

When Puck ends the call, he doesn’t particularly feel better, but at least everyone in New York is probably equally unhappy, and that gives him enough energy to leave Jake’s and go to the Lima Bean for breakfast. Then he gets mad again and decides he’s not going to let Finn run him out of the dorm room—even if he’s not officially a student, he’d thought about signing up for the next quarter—and heads back to campus. 

Puck opens the door without listening first, which means he stops three steps inside the door, staring at Finn, who’s standing in front of the chest of drawers. “Oh. I’ll just leave,” Puck says. 

“You don’t have to,” Finn says. “I was just getting a few things.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Puck snorts. “I already told her, don’t send me an invitation.” 

“Told _who_?” Finn asks. “Puck, what do you think is happening?”

“I heard you yesterday.” 

“Heard me what?” 

“‘I’m always going to love her’,” Puck says. “Ring any bells?” 

“You were _listening_ to me?” Finn says. “So you can’t talk to me, you can’t be in the same room with me, but you can eavesdrop on my phone calls, huh?”

“The door was open. I heard two sentences, and then I left. And _you’re_ the one that can’t do all that stuff.” 

“You’re the one who doesn’t want _me_. You’re the one who doesn’t trust _me_ ,” Finn says. He clenches his fists at his sides, and a muscle in his jaw jumps from how hard he’s gritting his teeth. 

“Right, that’s the problem here, totally,” Puck says, rolling his eyes. “Look, you can tell the grandkids about one of the speedbumps on your runaway train to your so-called happy ending or something. You’re the one who basically said if I felt anything that wasn’t what you told me to, too bad for me.” 

“Wait. Do you think I’m getting back together with Rachel?” Finn asks. “Dammit, Puck, you are such a dumbass sometimes!”

“You basically told me you were, and then Kurt!” 

“No, I didn’t, and I’m _not_ ,” Finn says. 

“Then why’d you say all that?” Puck demands. “Were you lying to Kurt to get him off your back or something? ‘Cause he’s such a piece of shit I don’t think that’ll work.” 

“Say all _what_? What you heard when you were eavesdropping? Because it’s not what you seem to think it is. I didn’t tell Kurt I’m getting back together with her. In fact, I told him to knock it off with trying, and he wouldn’t, so I hung up and I haven’t talked to him since!”

“You told him you loved her, sorry, did that suddenly mean something different?” Puck says. 

“Yes, I said I love her, and I do. I’ll always love her, because she was really important to me, but if you weren’t so set on being pissed at me, you’d have heard the next part, that I’m not _in love_ with her, and that I’m not going to be again,” Finn says. “I don’t want to get back together with her, and I don’t think that she really wants to get back together with me, if she really stopped to think about it. But you know what, Puck? Even if she did, I _don’t_.”

“Oh, well, that’s just great,” Puck says. “So it’s not even her. It’s just me.” 

“Yes, Puck. It’s just you. You’re the one I actually want,” Finn says. 

“Then what the fuck was the other night about?” 

“What? When you told me it wasn’t gonna work?” Finn asks. “It _sucked_ , is what.”

“I said it wasn’t gonna work _if you kept fucking disappearing_.” 

“You’re the one who said you didn’t believe me. I thought I was going to help my brother. I thought it was an emergency. I had no idea what was really going on, but you were just so damn sure that _you_ knew what was going on.” Finn shakes his head. “You told me not to worry. You said I’d always have you. And I believed you.”

“And you didn’t think that oh, hey, Puck might wonder _where the fuck I am_ when I go disappearing across the country?” 

“I should’ve waited for you. I should’ve brought you with me. I panicked, okay?” Finn says. 

“Yeah, and instead it was just ‘poof’ and you know what? I was right. Kurt _did_ fucking try to trick you, they _were_ trying to manipulate you out there and into getting back together with her, and it _was_ the second time in a week! You missed two days of class! Did you not think about calling your mom or Burt or _anyone_?” 

“No, because sometimes I do shit without thinking, okay?” Finn says. “I just want everybody to be okay. I was stupid, and yeah, he tricked me. It’s the last time.”

“Yeah, everybody can’t be okay,” Puck says. “Like the particles in chemistry repelling each other. Can’t occupy the same space.” 

“I don’t understand what that means!” 

“You can’t make them happy and me! That’s what it means! So if you’re going to worry about keeping everybody else happy, this isn’t going to work, and it sucks!” Puck says. “They want something completely different, and I never want to see them again!” 

“Okay!” Finn yells. “Okay! We’ll never see them again!”

“Yeah, right,” Puck says. “I get it. Family and whatever. It just really fucking sucks.” 

“No, Puck, you don’t get it. If you don’t want to see them again, we won’t see them, not either of us,” Finn says. 

Puck stares at Finn for awhile. “And what about at—okay, fair enough, he doesn’t come back for holidays,” Puck says with a shrug. “You know I didn’t feel this way two weeks ago.” 

“I didn’t either, but I do now, about them _and_ about you,” Finn says. “Puck, if I have to pick somebody, I pick you, okay? You. Not them. Not Rachel. Not Kurt. _You_.”

“I have no fucking idea why,” Puck admits. “But I’ve pretty much always picked you.” 

“Because you’re a dumbass, and I’m a dumbass.”

“Dumbasses of a feather?” 

“Yeah, pretty much,” Finn says. “I want to be with you. I love you, stupid. I missed you so fucking much!”

“I missed you, too,” Puck says, dropping his bag and taking a step towards Finn. “Uh, I don’t think I have to worry about any of them wanting to ever see me again, anyway.”

“Fine. That’s fine. Just kiss me, okay?” Finn says, stepping towards Puck.

“Okay.” Puck puts one arm around Finn’s waist and the other on the back of Finn’s neck, pulling Finn into a slow kiss. “I maybe told them they were all horrible human beings before 7 am,” he admits, kissing the tip of Finn’s nose and stretching to kiss his forehead. 

“They’ll get over it,” Finn says. He puts his arms around Puck, holding him close as they kiss again. 

“Don’t care,” Puck says, kissing Finn harder. “I love you too.” 

“Okay,” Finn says, when they break to catch their breath a few minutes later. “So, can we just take our clothes off and stay in bed for the next two days? Because it’s been a really bad week, and I missed you.”

“Yeah, but I have two conditions,” Puck says, his hand sliding under Finn’s shirt. “First of all, did you still do your homework and shit?” 

“Mostly.”

“Enough that I won’t be pissed in two days?” 

“Mostly.”

“One and a half days, then,” Puck says as firmly as he can manage. 

Finn nods. “Okay. What’s the other condition?”

“One of us sends Kurt a text or a picture or something and tells him it’s the answer to his question. Which was why did I care.” 

Finn immediately pulls out his phone and flips it to the camera, holding it out. “Okay. Now kiss me more.”

Puck laughs and does that, pushing his tongue into Finn’s mouth and starting to work Finn’s shirt up his chest as they kiss. He can hear the click of Finn taking pictures, but he keeps kissing Finn long after the sound stops. 

“I really missed you too,” Puck says quietly. “I was so mad.” 

“I know. I’m sorry,” Finn says. 

“I know. Me too.” Puck steps back just enough to pull off his shirt, tossing it in the floor and quickly reaching for the front of his jeans. “C’mon, get naked already.” 

“Okay, okay, just let me send the pictures!”

Puck laughs and kicks his jeans off, lying down on Finn’s bunk and watching Finn. “He’ll probably think I coerced you. Did I coerce you?” 

“Does that mean talk me into it?” Finn asks. “‘Cause I think probably we talked each other into it.”

“I think coercion usually involves some physical stuff, too.” 

“There was some physical stuff. A lot of physical stuff.” Finn pushes his jeans off, kicking them aside, before pulling his shirt off, too. “You should coerce me more, okay?”

“I think that’s a really good idea, yeah,” Puck says, reaching for Finn as he approaches the bed and then pulling Finn half on top of him. “Anything new you want to try?” 

“Yeah,” Finn says. He kisses Puck’s neck and chest, running his hands down Puck’s stomach to his hips. 

“Yeah? Like what?” 

“Hmm.” Finn keeps kissing Puck’s chest, slowly moving down. “Like stuff.”

“Oh yeah? You’re not going to tell me?” Puck asks. 

“Nope,” Finn says, kissing Puck’s stomach, still holding Puck’s hips in his hands. 

“Is that my punishment?” 

“Yep,” Finn says, continuing to move down until his lips brush against Puck’s dick. “Okay?”

“Uh, yeah. If this is punishment, I’m going yell at people a lot more often,” Puck says, lifting his head up to grin at Finn. Finn grins right back at him before taking the tip of Puck’s dick in his mouth, still smiling. “Is that a ‘yes, please yell at people’?” Puck puts one hand in Finn’s hair. 

Finn nods, slowly working his mouth farther down Puck’s dick. His hands grip Puck’s hips even more tightly. Puck starts to laugh, then lets out a noise that almost sounds like a hiss, and he pulls on Finn’s hair before he can stop himself. 

“Only on your behalf, probably,” Puck says. Finn nods again as he slowly moves his mouth up and down, his tongue curling around Puck’s dick. It’s not the most polished blowjob or anything, but Finn’s really into it, definitely more than any girl’s ever been. Probably, Puck thinks, because Finn seems to actually really want to be doing it, instead of some kind of tit-for-tat arrangement. Puck puts his other hand in Finn’s hair, wrapping his fingers in it. “This okay?” 

Finn nods once more, this time shifting one of his hands from Puck’s hip to wrap around the base of Puck’s dick instead, slowly jerking Puck off as he continues blowing him. Puck makes another hissing noise, nodding and keeping his eyes on Finn. 

“It’s awesome,” Puck says, and his hands tug on Finn’s hair again. Finn doesn’t change his speed or anything, but it’s so enthusiastic and Puck really had missed Finn so much, not just being naked but touching him and seeing him. Plus, Puck hadn’t really felt like jerking off, not when he was so pissed off, and he can feel himself getting close sooner than he expects. “Finn,” he says, trying to warn him, but he only gets it out three or four seconds before he does come, his hips jerking up and pushing his dick farther into Finn’s mouth.

Finn swallows kind of awkwardly, sitting up and wiping his mouth with the back of hand as he grins at Puck. “Was that okay?”

Puck grins back and nods. “Yeah, that was definitely okay.” He pulls Finn up so he can kiss him, and yeah, it tastes a little weird, but in a good way. Finn seems really turned on by all of it, hard and pressing against Puck’s leg while they kiss. 

“I missed you a lot,” Finn says, in between kisses. 

“Yeah, I missed you too,” Puck says. “I missed you so much I got mad and ended up missing you more.” 

“I should’ve told you before I went to New York,” Finn says. “I should’ve told you before the _first_ time.”

“Maybe we both have impulse control problems.” 

“Maybe so,” Finn agrees. 

“We should probably check in with each other before we do anything outside the usual routine,” Puck admits. 

“Yeah, I’ll always do that from now on,” Finn says, pressing his dick against Puck again. 

“What do you want?” Puck says. “You want me to blow you? Jerk you off? You want to fuck me? You tell me.” 

“Will you jerk me off? That way I can look at you and kiss you,” Finn says. 

“Yeah,” Puck says. “That’s good.” He slides his hand between them, wrapping his fingers around Finn’s dick and stroking up slowly. “Like that?” 

“Yeah,” Finn says, followed by a content-sounding sigh. “Yeah, that’s perfect.”

Puck smiles and kisses Finn just as slowly. He runs his thumb over the tip of Finn’s dick as he strokes, his other hand resting on the back of Finn’s neck. Finn pushes into Puck’s hand and kisses Puck harder. Puck speeds his hand up as he slides his tongue into Finn’s mouth and the fingers of his other hand flex before he runs it down Finn’s back. 

“Want me to go slower again?” Puck says teasingly. “I could move my hand for a minute or two.” 

“No, it’s perfect, it’s so perfect,” Finn says, rolling his hips forward to thrust up into Puck’s hand. 

“Yeah, gonna make you come in my hand,” Puck says, his hand stroking even faster, and he drags his thumb across the tip again before each downward motion. “Make you come so hard.” 

Finn starts muttering “Oh shit, oh shit Puck, oh shit,” then he starts to come, holding on to Puck. 

“Yeah, just like that,” Puck says, still moving his hand as he kisses Finn hard again. Finn kisses back fiercely, sucking on Puck’s tongue. Puck moves his hand and puts it on Finn’s ass instead, pulling Finn close against him, and then tucks his head against Finn’s neck. “Love you,” Puck mumbles. 

“Love you,” Finn says. “Let’s just stay like this until we have to eat, okay?”

Puck nods. “Yeah. Good idea.” 

The two of them lie there quietly, and Puck closes his eyes, feeling more settled than he has in days. The silence is broken by the sound of an incoming text on Finn’s phone, vibrating against the floor, and Puck figures it’s probably Kurt’s response to the pictures. Finn doesn’t seem to really notice or respond, and Puck toys with the idea of them checking it for about five seconds. Then Puck realizes that he doesn’t particularly care, not in that moment and not later, and he smiles to himself before rearranging his body so he and Finn are in maximum contact. 

No one else really matters too much, anyway.


End file.
